Nightmare

Every day I check box #4109

hoping to see another small, yellowed envelope

its size deceiving its content.

I wait for weeks;

they turn into months.

I don’t know where you are,

or who is caring for you.

Anxious about your safety.

All I know is you are not here.

Your letters illustrate stories

of your childhood,

secret dreams and wishes.

They are filled with trust.

The simple bond

between pen and paper

creates our complex

relationship for years.

But the lack of life in the hand

that writes the lines

destroys our growth.

I will forever cherish

the last, little letter

where you wrote of a promise

you can no longer keep.

That wish you had

to be with me eternally

when you came home.

Now I stand here in front

of all your family and friends

speaking about the person you were,

and there is one thing

I want you to know.

That I check box #4109 everyday still

hoping to wake up from this

bad dream. 

Runner's High

Anticipation,

Waiting for the gun.

The shot echoes.

Adrenaline courses through blood.

Hundreds of feet tear at the earth

Scarring the moist trail.

Elbows find their mark between ribs

Lungs burning upon impact.

Spikes gnash sweaty flesh

Ripping into ankles and thighs.

Weather and terrain pitted against

The human body and spirit.

            Tranquility,

            Rhythmic breathing blends with the wind

            Whooshing through the narrow path

            Untouched ground lies ahead

            Waiting to be conquered

            A rush of invincibility replaces pain

            All the senses focused on a single desire

            The moment engrains itself into memory

As the pace drops effortlessly

Finish line in sight

The crowds muddled cheers hang in the morning air

And the race ends,

But the moment, so sacred

Brings the runner to the line again.

The Next Chapter

To many of you who know me, you know about the main things that I love. I love running even when I say I hate it, and I love English. Since I could read I have been fascinated by the countless worlds that authors are able to create and I enjoy getting to experience these different perspectives through reading. When I went to London I began writing...at first it was a journal about all my adventures and unique experiences while abroad, but it quickly developed into a way for me to get to know myself. Upon returning to the US and school I took a writing workshop in poetry for my English minor, and after what I felt was a rocky start I grew to love writing. After graduation I will admit I was lost. I had a Business Marketing degree and an English minor and I didn't know what to do with my life; I had raced through school and was so focused on doing my best in sports and academics I forgot to figure who I am and what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

During my last semester in college I sat down with some of my professors to discuss what I wanted to do with my life and to pick their brains about "the real world." I had this nagging feeling that I was meant to be exactly where I was sitting; in an office at a university doing exactly what they were doing. However, since becoming a professor means going back to school for numerous years which costs a substantial amount of money I buried this feeling. After graduation I got a part-time job while I began searching for a career. A few months later I began working at HBC International Inc...which is a sales company and I was doing business to business sales (completely the opposite of anything I would ever picture myself doing). While working there they constantly were discussing goals...sales goals, life goals, financial goals and that nagging feeling that I wasn't pursuing my dream kept pushing its way up in my mind. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to get my Master's in Creative Writing. I wanted to get my PhD in English and eventually become a college professor. I wanted to write. In the midst of all this self-discovery my job ended at HBC Int. and once again I was lost and didn't know what was the next step for me.

I got a part-time job, and then another and another and started saving every penny that I earned. I signed up for the GRE and studied when I wasn't working. I moved back in with my parents so I could save even more money and started applying to various MFA programs across the country. I had gotten the push I needed to step outside of my comfort zone and to pursue what I wanted most. A career that is my passion and to pass that passion onto others.

Then came the waiting period...waiting to here back from school and about financial aid and scholarships. I prayed a lot about ending up at the right university for me that will help me grow as writer and person. My answer came not too long ago when I decided to attend Abilene Christian University and get my Master's in Creative Writing there beginning this Fall! I am so excited and blessed to have the opportunity to pursue my education in English and I honestly can say I couldn't have gotten this far without the support of my family and close friends who have put up with me throughout this entire process, and are continuing to support me through this next chapter of my life. Thank you all so much!!